So !!! Here we go………

Crikey this is scarey !! Unleashing the thoughts and craziness of my head on the public, will you understand, will you be able to relate at all to the ever changing emotions and uncontrollable constance of it all. I struggle but hey! I’ve been doing it for years, it happens without me even realising, let me know what you think.
Last night when I was in the bath, it came to me – write a blog. How bloody stupid my 2nd thought, who the heck is going to want to listen or read the rantings of a mad woman trying to get control of her life.  then I laughed, this could be entertaining, there’s never a dull moment in my life, if there is I am usually crying and getting over something else pretty insignificant or petty but yes, it could be interesting to others who don’t know where to even start understanding what mental health is all about.
What the F*** I though, it’s free, if it doesnt work, what have I got to lose, I want to do this to help me get through this time in my life, I keep hearing its time to talk and the boundaries of mental health should be broken down, I’ll give it a go !!!
You think of mental health and you steer clear, it’s a natural reaction !! I still unconsciously do it myself then I have to stop and think – Hey that’s you too, silly byrd ! It could happen to anyone, any walk of life and without much notice, there is such a fine line.
So, here I am, warts n all…………… you decide x
Briefly my background.  parents split when I was approx 4/5 both were military.  Father a complete and utter disciplinarian, Mother I didnt get to know until I was approx 15, my views of her are understanding but pity at the same time. My father I now cannot abide, he put me through suffering of many degrees and it leave the bitterest of tastes in my mouth.
Sexually abused at the age of 8-10 and again 11-12 by non family members.
Childrens Home because of abusive Father at 15, reunited at 16 and then kicked out of home at 17.  Took on a mortgage at 18 only to run away twice from the pressures as already was prescribed valium and hitting the bottle badly.
Hooley life / Lived things up away from all responsiblities until age of 22 then I fell pregnant with my son, my boy, my whole life.  Married at 23, divorced at 27 even though I had been with my son’s father and my boyfriend of 8 years !! Violent and abusive relationship on both parts, something I had lived through as a child and did not want my son to go through the same.
Here I am now, grown up son and finally learning who I am, why I am like I am and what I can do to make my life better for all of those involved xxx